There is an argument that goes something like this: What is the difference between being married and sleeping with your wife/husband every night for a hundred nights vs sleeping with one hundred different people. This argument won’t wash with many of us. Sleeping with the same person many times feels very different to sleeping with lots and lots.

One may fear the heightened risk of sexual transmitted diseases when one sleeps around. We can assume that when it is your turn, a comprehensive set of tests have proven negative.

Besides the notion of being ‘dirty’, other thoughts arise. Anyone that has slept with lots of partners might be viewed as untrustworthy. A high body count suggests that someone has a low barrier when it comes to sexual activity. Their promiscuity may persist during a relationship. A genuine fear perhaps. Not necessarily though. Perhaps, now that the exploration is done, the need for further exploration evaporates. Maybe, just maybe, given that they have had all that experience they may be less likely to have affairs. One less reason anyway.

Some people, women included in equal measure, enjoy sex. They enjoy the exploration. They enjoy the rewarding feelings. Sex interests them, it interests them a lot. For some, sex is a core pleasure, a core pursuit. Their number one hobby of sorts. Whereas for others sex is less central to their lives. I am sure that there are countless people that are most appreciative of the fact that some are willing to explore sex with lots of people. Those sexual liaisons whilst short lived, stick in the minds of those that were grateful for the joy it brought.

Some value sex much more than others. Some believe in the sanctity, cherishing the delight in it being virgin with virgin. No one else has, or will ever, touch what is ‘theirs’. At the other extreme, some see sex as no big deal, it is just sex, just what animals do, just a bit if niceness, trivial. Easy come easy go.

One thing is for sure. One of the couple will always value sex more than the other.

If I am to marry this person, what makes me special? She/he has had sex with lots of lots of people. What is it that makes me stand out from the prior 100. Retroactive jealousy can rear it head – being jealous of former partners. (Philosophy can help with this. It is outlined in the book.)

I bet some have rejected a fine suitor when their promiscuity was revealed or became apparent. I do know many that have slept with lots yet settled down and built a most fine relationship.

Is someone with a high body count, ‘letting the side down’. If so, does the gender it relates to matter? I suspect it does. Society and it’s unwritten rules.

Some have a personally defined boundary and never cross it. Others are much more Laissez-faire and more inclined to allow flirtation to progress. This troubles those with insecurities, those that become jealous and protective. A history of sleeping with all and sundry in the past will not help matters. Lots of people, men and women, are on the prowl to take advantage whenever and wherever possible. Being in a relationship with someone that is adept at batting off approaches can be a welcome thing indeed.

It is a funny old world. An experienced person is respected and admired. Except when they are not at all respected or admired. In the realms of sex, I doubt a sexually experienced person gets universal admiration. Nevertheless, the more people you sleep with the more you learn, I would assume. You discover more about yourself. You get introduced to better sex, sometimes. Some are a lot more creative than others and those skills can be utilised in a marriage. Some of course are a little too creative, to the point where real harm is metered out.

Body count has pros and cons. Who is the ultimate judge? And what counts as having a high body count. Ten, twenty, one hundred. Some might be irked by three. And when loves take hold, that number can matter a lot more or perhaps not. It all depends on your philosophy.