“He needs to get it out of his system.”

This was the tail end of a conversation I was listening in on. Held in a car on a little big island, Hilo, Hawaii. The mother had a fair few hopes for her son, as most mothers do. Those hopes may have to wait whilst he was fixated, keen in other words, to set up a rock band. He had the dream - to be part of something great. Music and all that comes with being in a band. The Attention, the joy, the feeling of doing and being someone that counted.

I suspect the mother knew that the band would not amount to much. Would they be successful, unlikely. However, she neither put up obstacles nor dissuaded her son from giving it a go. He needed to see it through for himself, success or fail, to get it out of his system.

One thing you do not see, is a lot of people travelling endlessly. Most tire of it after a year or so. They end up returning home or putting down roots somewhere instead. They had their fill and are satisfied with what they have seen. Visiting another temple no longer appeals. Most become a little less keen about the prospect of mooching once again to see another grand vista irrespective of how grand it may be. Dare I say, a hint of boredom, despite the greatness sets in.

If the son mentioned before, did not embark on the band project he would be dissatisfied with life perhaps. If the dream turns to dust or he/they fail to make the impression he thought they might, at least he tried. It is better to try than not try at all, is it not. Now that that avenue has been explored, something else can crop up that he can try. At least he is not stuck. Stuck waiting to start.

As for me. I wanted to set up a dance club. I wanted to change the format, change the way dance is taught, and change the whole experience. I was as keen as that lady’s son to embark on something that I had a passion for. I needed to get that idea out of my system too. I struggled to get a helper. Wanting something badly enough gave me the impetus to seek one out.

Sure enough, a helper materialised. ‘The real deal’ is what I thought when she walked through the door. She was excellent in so many quarters. Getting people interested in dancing of any sort was a different matter. It was very difficult. I failed. Perhaps the location was suboptimal. Perhaps the marketing was inadequate. Who knows. What I do know is that I felt vastly better now that I tried as best as I could. The desire to succeed will always remain, but the frustration is no longer plaguing me. I learnt a lot and can try another tack.

This getting it out of your system dynamic has a parallel with the curiosity one. We need to try things for ourselves to understand. No matter how good the description, no matter how detailed the story is retold, we need to see for ourselves. Put simply, no one can tell you what a carrot tastes like. You must push through the issues. The only way one can alleviate the consternation is to give things a go.

Hope will only get you so far.